Come Here Often?

Maybe you should…I am a wealth of … something.  It is something that you surely need.

Anyway.

So yeah…pick up lines.  Have you ever used a really cheesy one…and it worked?

One night a girl I worked with printed out a whole list of pick-up lines and we went to a bar and took turns saying them to random guys.  It was really funny.  None of them were successful…but mostly because there were few of them we could say with a straight face.

I did rather enjoyed the look on the guy’s face who I smiled at … looked at his shoes … looked back up at his face and said, “Nice shoes…wanna *%#!”?  His mouth fell open and he just stared at me.  I shrugged and walked away.  He tried to stop me but I kept walking.  I laughed all the way out the door.

I grabbed a guy’s rear end and said, “Is this seat taken?”  He looked at me like I’d grown a second head.  I laughed and kept walking.  So much for using one liners from the internet.

From then on I used my own lines.  One night I saw a boy I thought was really pretty…and I’d had a few drinks and was feeling feisty…so I walked over, got really close and told him in his ear, “You are so pretty, you should not even be legal”.  He smiled…we talked…yeah, you know how it ends.  It wasn’t anything lasting but we hung out a few times.  So I call that a successful pick-up line.  I used that line a couple of other times…always meant what I said, but it was still a line.

Now…looking at this from the other direction, I’ve had some interesting ones used on me.  There is, of course, the famous one from a previous blog.  “Are those your real eyes?”  Ugh.  There was the guy who I almost smacked because he was tugging the back of my shirt and when I got mad and asked him WTF…he said he was trying to see if the tag on my shirt said “Made in Heaven” because I had the face of an angel.  My response was too impolite to repeat here. 

Pick-up lines make me laugh, for the most part.  Not a lot of people actually have “lines” these days.  Well…besides “Can I buy you a drink” because that one just never goes out of style.  Countless times, I have responded positively to “Can I buy you a drink?”  Especially if he was cute and I was broke.

Personally, I find that the better looking you are…the cheesier the line you can use and have it work.  I don’t think it’s about the line itself…I think it’s about the delivery.  If you deliver an incredibly cheesy line…with tongue firmly in cheek…knowing full well it’s a ridiculous thing to say but saying it with charm…it can work.  No matter how ridiculous the line is.  It’s all about delivery.  This is why Brad Pitt could walk up and say, “Did it hurt?  When you fell from Heaven?”  And most women would just blush and swoon and turn into Jello.  Those same women would roll their eyes and get completely ooked if Oily Haired, Acne Scar Rico Suave from next door did it.  So it’s mostly about delivery and also about that first bit of physical attraction.

So yeah…I’ve used a few duds and found a few winners.  To this day there’s still not much that works better than “Hi, I’m (name)”.  Honesty can really work, especially in this day and age.  People are considerably more suspicious these days so the days of the cheesy pick-up line are pretty much gone.

For the record, the first words my husband ever said to me were “Hi, I’m [name]”.  That was almost ten years ago.  Go figure.