My husband and I are so very different from the outside looking in, that sometimes I wonder if people try to figure out how we possibly get along. Or maybe everyone really believes that saying, “opposites attract”. Either way – on paper, my husband and I do not appear to be compatible at all.
He’s an English Major who graduated from A&M. I’m a high school drop out.
He is all about clothes and fashion. I can barely match colors and tend to dress outdated.
He likes Kylie Minogue and dance music. I like 80’s metal and doom metal.
He reads high minded literature. I read vampire novels.
He plays a ton of video games. I get nauseous playing Tomb Raider.
This is just the short list of things that are very different about us. However…somehow we work. We do have things we both like. Firefly. Lord of the Rings. Comic book movies. Mardi Gras. Traveling. Being nerds. And most of all…each other. We really do seem to like each other. That’s important. Especially since we’re married.
One of the many things on the longer list of differences between us…is how we think. My husband has a tendency to think in the clouds. That whole, all things are possible, let’s move this mountain, kind of thinking. Oh, there’s a building in the way? We’ll just leap over it in a single bound. It will be fine. No, really.
Me? No…I am pragmatic to a fault. I will break down every problem to it’s very basic elements and solve it in the most reasonable way possible. Oh, there’s a building in the way? Ok…let’s get a map and look at the building and find the quickest and easiest way around it and proceed. While we have the map, let’s make sure there are no other buildings ahead and if there are, let’s go ahead and plan for those too.
We talked about this one night and decided that in the comic book world…he is Superman. He is the Man of Steel. He will simply fly away or leap over the building or stand against the hail of gunfire. He will not understand why the criminal feels the need to shoot at us because certainly there is some good in him somewhere and he can be rehabilitated. He will take the high road and do the right thing … because it’s the right thing to do. He will fly backward around the Earth and reverse time and that will fix the problem!
So…this makes me Batman. I am logical…methodical…a little darker…but well meaning. I will find the right tool for the job. I have to take cover from the hail of gunfire so I don’t die. I know that the criminal is 90 percent likely to be a worthless bucket full of dumbass (to paraphrase a writer I admire…) and that I need to either get him under control and in jail or take him out if I absolutely have to. I will do what needs to be done, because it needs to be done. I will do what I have to do and what no one else wants to do, because that’s who I am. I will have anguish over my mistakes and it will eat away at me that I couldn’t save everyone or fix everything. But I will forgive myself as best I can, because I’m human.
Over-think it much, Lynn? Um…duh.
But yeah…that’s the basics of it. We are Superman and Batman. But as shown in some versions of comics that put these two together…while they are incredibly different – they are somehow able to work together and make things happen. Get the bad guys. Save the day. It’s what they do.
My husband and I may not have to get the bad guys or save the day. We may not have to risk our lives or be heroes. But we make our differences work for us. The most heroic thing I may do for him is find his wallet when it’s lost. The biggest heroic thing he may do for me is bring me my favorite food when I’m sick.
But at the end of the day…he’s my hero…and I like to think I’m his.
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