I used to really love George Strait. He was so cute and all cowboy and blue collar, regular guy with a sweet little, slightly crooked smile. Of course, I was twelve years old at the time and my ideas about these things were very different. I still find George Strait’s voice to be pleasant and comforting and I like that he was never one of those stars that had lots of drama and headlines. He seems like a neat guy.
But George Strait is honestly not the topic of this particular ramble. The first time I heard that song, I didn’t really grasp all the meanings. I was about 16-17 when it came out, but I didn’t really have many ex’s so I didn’t really give it a lot of thought.
As for me…I’ve always lived in Texas so for the most part, all my ex’s really ARE in Texas. Fortunately, I do not have such fire with them that I need to be in another state in order to avoid them!
Yeah…so this ramble is brought to you by the letter X and the number 5. The reason for the number 5 is that 5 is the number of “ex’s” I feel like I truly have. Now…maybe I’m completely off here…but doesn’t that seem like a really low number of ex’s to have? I know girls half my age who already have more ex’s than that. So to me…this seems like a really low number.
I don’t count the puppy love crushes like Robert Calloway from second grade, with whom I was truly smitten and who gave me my first valentine candy and kissed me on the playground. Even though I cried over him when I had to move and go to a different school. He was blonde and blue eyed and set the first bar for what I liked a boy to look like. All my dreamy 10-12 year old stories had me with a blonde haired, blue eyed boyfriend. But still…we were only 8 years old. So I don’t really count him as an “ex”.
My first real boyfriend…the first one that I considered serious…was Tommy. We started “going out” when I was about 13 or 14 years old. I believe he was about 17 at the time. I know that sounds a little weird…but if you’d seen me at 13 you might have thought differently. I didn’t look my age. I don’t think I’ve looked my actual age since I was about 11 years old. I started looking older when I hit about 12…and somehow started looking younger when I hit about 28. But that’s another ramble too. So Tommy liked me and I liked him…and “going out” consisted of going to the skating rink in his van or riding around town…or him coming over. It also included many notes we wrote to each other in class and exchanging at random times….and him writing my name on his arm with a permanent marker. Oh the drama. He came and met my parents…they loved him. It was all too much. In the end…too many people made fun of him for my being so young and he “broke up” with me. But we still spent time together and a few months after all that – he ended up moving in with my family and living with us for a few years. So he’s a friend of my family and a friend of mine…still to this day. I do count him as an “ex” though.
The next one that was a serious boyfriend…was named Steve. I started going out with him when I was 15. He was my first – yeah, THAT first. He is also the biological father of my daughter…who was born just 11 months after that first. It happened quickly. We broke up before I found out she was on the way. In fact, we had broken up once before when he cheated on me…then we broke up the second time when I found out how many drugs he was doing. Then he tried to get us back together based on the baby…but it didn’t work out. I dated someone else while pregnant…but do not see that guy as being an “ex” because it just never got that serious. Now…I don’t talk to that ex…I think he’s worthless. He never tried to be part of my daughter’s life and didn’t pay child support until I sued him for it when she was 16 and even then he somehow thought he shouldn’t have to pay. So yeah…we are not friends…but I do not feel the need to get out of town to be away from him. He should be considerably more afraid of me. I am the stable one.
After that…was Darren. We met when I was 17. And he personified my new desire in a boy. He had long hair and played guitar. At 17 I was all about big hair and hair bands. And finding a boy in my small town who played guitar and had long hair…well that was just about as good as it could get. We had a crazy relationship that lasted for a little over a year before I got antsy and felt too tied down at 18 and things weren’t working. We split and then ended up back together about a year or so later and got married. We had my son…and then were together that time a total of 4 years before I realized he was just not going to change and I had to get out if I wanted to live my life without being miserable. So I left him when I was 23. Needless to say…we were not able to stay friends and had MAJOR issues for many years. However…these days, now that the kids are grown and we are both a lot more sane and grown up…we actually have pleasant conversations and laugh a lot when we talk. It’s nice. So, no need to get out of town for that one either.
Anyway, yeah…there I was…23 years old, getting divorced and the mother of two children. I am sure I was every guy’s dream with all that baggage.
Shortly after I left him…I started dating a guy I met while he and I were married. I had actually been friends with this guy and his wife…but they had separated shortly before Darren and I. His name was Steve. You’d think I would know better than to date another Steve but wow was I infatuated with this one. We had a seriously tumultuous relationship and we dated off and on and in and out and wow it was a long story…for about 5 years. The last year of it, we were “exclusive”…but he sideswiped me out of nowhere and broke it off…just a few months after I’d moved to a new city mostly to be closer to him. Thanks! So that was pretty horrible for the first few months but eventually he and I came to be friends again. And we shared a little time here and there between other relationships…it was a thing. Steve and I are still friends to this day. Good friends. We talk, we occasionally see each other, I support his band efforts and we just have a connection. I think he’s my favorite ex and that we will always be friends. I also think he was the first one who ever truly owned my heart…and broke it.
Over the next year or two, I dated a few guys here and there but the one that became a relationship, was Lewis. That one lasted about 9 months and boy, talk about dramatic. Lewis was an incredibly intelligent and incredibly talented guy…but he does not think like regular people. His brain processes are unlike almost anyone I’ve ever met. And while we had some really good times together…we had some REALLY bad ones too. After we broke up we tried to stay friends…and we managed for a quite a long time and then through a series of psychotic events…we ceased to be friends for a while. In the years since, we have tried to be friendly here and there and are currently on a very careful, friendly swing. We chat here and there…we do pyro together…we very occasionally email. That kind of thing. So there’s one more that I don’t feel the need to get far, far away from.
After him, I dated here and there…but nothing serious until I met Adam. Adam is my husband. He did not hit the first bar of blonde hair and blue eyes. He did not hit the second bar of long haired musician. He had short hair, dark eyes and he was an aspiring DJ who listened to music I totally didn’t get. He was a well educated English major who worked at a law firm. I was a little intimidated by this…being a high school drop out who lived paycheck to paycheck. But in the end…he turned out to be everything I needed and we’ve been together almost ten years now. He has set that bar so high that I hope I don’t ever have need to find someone who can reach it.
So those are my five ex’s. They all live in Texas. I have a friendly rapport with most of them and no fear of any of them and no need to be in another state to avoid them. George Straight…your song is real cute and so are you. All my ex’s live in Texas too but I’m so not moving to Tennessee.
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