One of the fun things about my life is having had the opportunity to do some really unusual things and thus have really cool stories to tell.  It’s fun to be in a group of people and break out a fun story like, “Oh yeah, I once travelled to England to do fireworks for Guy Fawkes Night…” and “I went to Portugal once.  I was there on a scientific research project where I caught tiny sea birds in nets at the edge of a cliff and took samples from them for a research project.”  Those are not things everyone gets to do…so it’s fun to have unique adventures to talk about and unique stories to tell.

The newest unique story I have is not quite as exciting as travelling to another country for some exciting adventure…but I think it ranks right up there in “unique stories” to tell.

You know how when you’re little, your mom tells you to be still on the escalator so it doesn’t  catch your pant leg and suck you under?  Ok, maybe your mom didn’t terrify you like that…but someone probably did at some point.  As you get older, you never really believe it can happen.  I mean really, have you ever known someone who got something caught and sucked under the stairs while on an escalator?

WELL…let me tell you my new and unique adventure.  I now actually know someone who got an article of their clothing sucked off and eaten by an escalator.  It really happens!  How many people can say that?

A few?  Oh…ok, well then let me tell you what makes the story REALLY interesting.  Imagine me at a table, with a group of fun people, all talking and laughing and maybe having a cocktail or seven…and I bust this was out.

“Yeah…this one time…

I was on an escalator with several hundred people dressed like Santa Claus and other Christmas characters, when Krampus got his hoof caught in the escalator and sucked under…which consequently, stopped the escalator, forcing the last of the Santas to have to walk up what were then considered stairs.”

[Mitch Hedberg voice] “We apologize for the convenience….”

So yeah…that will be added to my list of unique and interesting stories I can tell when I meet new people.

I’m fun at parties.  You should invite me over.